Parenting Skills Training:

Parenting skills are not something we are born with.  Unlike many other life skills that must be learned, raising children without the proper tools could result in serious and unnecessary challenges and heartaches for the child, the family and society at large.  A simple way to avoid these problems is to take parenting as seriously as we do any other life skill by simply engaging in basic parent training.

Parent Training Classes are available through the adult education program - CORONADO FAMILY UNIVERSITY.  Follow the link or call Cindy Ribant at: 619-435-3082.  Two courses are offered:

• "Developing Capable Young People" - a training program designed to increase the effectiveness of families, schools, and organizations in developing the personal assets and resources of young people.

• "Parent to Parent" (English)

• "Parent to Parent" (Spanish)

Guidelines for Achieving Healthy Communication:

The Golden Rule - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Increasing the Chances of Success - The probability of a mutually agreeable solution is increased when:

• The parties are in direct communication

• Participation is voluntary, not forced.

• Neither party feels superior or more powerful.

• The goal is a win-win outcome.

• The parties talk honestly about their thoughts and feelings

• There is a mutual respect of needs and feelings.

• This principle is followed:

First seek to understand, then to be understood.

The Basic Steps

A. Seek To Understand

• Confirm a willingness to solve problem.

• Be polite.

• Listen.  You can learn more about the problem when you truly listen to another view.

• Try to imagine how the other person feels.

• Seek understanding of the cause of the feeling.

• Show empathy.

• Accept the other person's point of view.

• 

  Ask the powerful and positive question:

What would help you feel better?

B. Seek to be Understood:

• Count to 10 before you speak.  Take a deep breath and calm yourself.  Take time to think about what you want to say.

• Share your feelings & needs.

• Confirm accurate reception & understanding.  Ask them what they heard you say.

C. Mutually generate options & resolutions:

• Be patient.  Cooperate.  Compromise.  Forgive.  Smile.

• Be respectful and appreciate differences.  It's OK to have different ideas, likes and dislikes.

• Brainstorm solutions (while withholding evaluation/judgment).  Work together to find an answer.  Seek an outside opinion.

• Discuss each parties feelings about alternatives.  Put your heads together, talk, and plan.

• Stop and think.  Look at it another way.  Keep trying.

• Make selection which maximizes positive feelings and minimizes negative feelings.

• Practice solving the problem.

• When it's over, let it be over.  Getting along can be more important than getting everything you want.

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